Tonight was the black tie dinner for the RZIM conference “we” are attending. And I was suddenly so jealous that Casey was going without me, as I watched the gorgeous couples arrive in their gowns and tuxes, that I burst into tears in the lobby and had to wheel Kenny out for a hasty exit. There are few things I enjoy more than an opportuity to put on a ball gown and eat exquisite food with beautiful and interesting people. I hate to even admit my childish woe, but woe it was as I looked at the fashionable dresses and dapper gents walk into the ballroom lobby, I in my “business casual” attire and Kenny in his stroller.
We walked slowly and sadly back across the grounds to the casual restaurant for our own dinner, and I had to work hard to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks as I greeted people I knew walking briskly by in their finery. Kenny and I were the first to arrive at The Tavern and I ordered a cheese pizza for him and a glass of merlot and a steak for me. Halfway through that peppery glass of vino I cheered a little as Kenny made a glorious mess of his face and the tablecloth. When the steak arrived, I daringly ordered another glass of wine, this time a mertage, and went ahead and requested the biggest piece of chocolate cake and ice cream they could find. After the pizza and a bit of my steak, Kenny ate all of the ice cream, focusing so intently that I had to scrape up a bit for myself in haste before he devoured it all.
As we left the restaurant, big tip and sweet “Nigh, Nights” to the waitress, we ran into one of the RZIM staff wives on the elevator. I had another brief pang as I took in her elegant hairdo and flowing gown as we bid her goodnight. Kenny was all too ready for bed, and I all too ready for another long bath once we got into the room. He is now sleeping soundly, and I am wired from the chocolate and pondering what I can do to occupy myself in the dark hotel room for the next few hours until Casey returns.
So here’s the hard part of being “Mommy.” I’m thrilled to stay at home, to take on Kenny as my number one job 24/7, but suddenly thrust into being left behind for one of my favorite social nights of the year has hit me hard. Kenny has been a dream on this trip, all considering; we dragged him across the country and two time zones for a mere two and a half days, and he has been an absolute trooper. Tonight he was the miniature Life of the Party at the hotel restaurant, flirting and cooing at all the waitstaff and shyly smiling at the pretty bartender. He is a joy and always will be.
But tonight is one of those rare nights when I suddenly feel like my role as a Wife and a woman has been somehow reduced to Dowdy Suburban Mommy. After all, how many black tie nights does a girl get to go to in a year? And if anyone reading this knows anything about RZIM, you know that the guests here are brilliant and facinating. I’m going to get over this, just give me time. For now, though, I am content to be a little melancholy and wistful.
If only the Fairy Godmother could come over here and babysit for a few hours…
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One response to “The Short End of the Stick”
I would have come!!!!!!