And Finally, Part 3

First I want to thank all of you who took the time to write such thoughtful comments and emails over the last two days.   I have learned a lot!   I do want to answer Crisanne  and others who felt I was being too judgemental in expressing my opinion.   When I started writing the post, I didn’t intend to put down those moms who do put their kids in weekly programs; I was actually just trying to say, “Call it what it is” in the respect that when kids are really young (two and under), the programs are not truly “school” – they are closer to “day care.”   But I have found quickly that the term definitely ruffles people up!   And that’s why it is more socially acceptable to call it “school.”   And yes, I know that a three year old can learn a lot in a twice a week program, and I agree that throwing a kid into 5-day-a-week kindergarten, when they have never been to school at all, can be unfair and frightening.  

In yesterday’s post, I was trying to make the point that, while Kenny isn’t in “school” he still has opportunities throughout the week to be in settings where another adult is taking care of him and where he is learning how to interact with other kids (Sunday School, MOPS, etc.)   So for me, I don’t see a need to fall into the peer pressure of putting him in “school” – he has four times a week where he is “on his own” and learning to be his own little person outside of me!   Where he is learning about respecting other authority figures, waiting his turn, and following directions.

Finally,  Jen and Crisanne, you are right, I did make the insinuation that a mom who puts their  toddlers in “school” misses out on much of their life… that was way too over-dramatic and I apologize for that one.   And I do thank those who made more of the “if you had more than one, you’d understand” response that I hate so much.   I didn’t look at it from the perspective of getting to spend one-on-one time with a younger child, like I have had the time to spend one-on-one with Kenny.

I think it’s fair to say that while I haven’t changed my mind about what I’m going to do with Kenny in the near future, I do have a little better understanding of why some people choose to put their kids into programs during the week.   I guess it doesn’t matter what we call it, if it works for each individual’s situation.   And just wait, if I have another one before it’s time for Kenny to go to kindergarten and I make the decision to put Kenny in to “school” two days a week, I promise to eat crow and write all about it.


Comments

3 responses to “And Finally, Part 3”

  1. Well said. The most important point is that you are making a decision that you, Kenny, and Casey are comfortable with, and it’s ok if it is different than what some of the rest of us are doing.

  2. I really believe in doing what your family feels most comfortable with. Everyone has very unique circumstances that they are working with when raising a child. These circumstances are sometimes unpredictable. I think from frequently reading this site that all of us here agree that all we want for our children is the very best. I can argue my viewpoint that the child having BOTH parents as their primary caregivers is best. But, it is only MY reality. My husband and I are fortunate enough to both have professions and desire to be with our boys equally as much as the other. But, this is not best for eveyone. What’s best for you depends on so many different variables. I truly believe that all of us parents do only the best for each of our children. “Best” can not be main streamed.

  3. Hi Kristjana! I have really enjoyed the dialogue that you generated over this topic. I certainly share alot of your opinions, especially since I do have to work about 16 hours/week (most of the time hubby watches kiddos).

    OK… here is my confessional for the week….
    I know a few moms who just don’t have the energy/stamina or what ever you call it, both physically and mentally to handle their child/ren. They end up watching t.v. with their kids, or sending them off to “school”. I tend to humm… how do I put it… look down upon them because they just cannot handle it. I know I am wrong in doing so… but I do. Most of them do not have the discipline to take care of themselves by eating right and exercising. So I mentally blame them for that. I have a really hard time swallowing how “tough” some moms think they have it raising their children. In the U.S., we are so blessed! We don’t know tough…