Technically, Still Difficult

See my problem here is that every time I try to write a post, if I attempt to save it before publishing, my server deletes it.   And unfortunately, my hosting program automatically saves what I’m writing every five minutes.   Therefore, if I take longer than five minutes to conjure up something brilliant to write, it is lost in space.   Think of it as a cyber-Gong Show.

So let me take this brief (tick-tock-tick-tock…) opportunity to request some feedback from my readers.

MommyBlog.com is in the process of a major expansion.   Some of the things that will be appearing in the coming months, besides a new look, will be a place for Moms (and Dads, too!) to create their own “Mommy Blog” right from this site.   There will also be a way to search for other MommyBlog readers who share the same interests or life-situations as you do, and a way to contact them within the MommyBlog community.     Whether it’s by child age range, number of children, children with special needs, surviving a miscarriage, the death of a child, single moms, military moms (you get the picture), there will be a place for you to connect with other moms going through the same stage of life that you are.   Up at 3 am with a collicy newborn?   Sneaking in a little sanity at naptime?   We are also hoping to give moms a chance to connect in real time.

My question for you all is: What would you like to see on MommyBlog.com?   Let your imagination run wild, and tell me that if you were looking for the ideal Mom Blog to hang out with, what would it look like?   What would you be able to do there?   Let me hear from you!

Feel free to comment to this post (I think that should be working now) or use the “Your Input Needed” form on the right side bar.   I want to hear what you have to say!

 Kristjana

Slippery Genius

My blog would so rock if I had a little recording device to hang on my shirt all day.   I have moments of pure genius of wit and commentary on the daily scramble  and think, “Ooh!   I have to put that on my blog later today!” only to sit hours later in front of a blank computer screen and mumble, “What was that again??”

But I do  remember thinking at one point today, Wow: two kids are a lot harder than one.

Duh.

I have a friend whose husband insists that having more than one child is developmentally irresponsible.   He says that there is no way you can effectively rear more than one child without seriously neglecting key teaching opportunities.   Then I have another friend with five kids whose husband insists that they need a few more – arguing that the more kids you   have, the more fun you have and the more they learn about life.   Then there’s another that just read the Duggar’s autobiography, 20 and Counting, and swears that they have  a lot of catching up to do.    

But back to my own (obvious) revelation: being a stay-at-home mom to more than one preschooler is tough.   When Kenny was Cooper’s age, he never napped.   Never, ever, never.   Unless I nursed him to sleep and held him perfectly still.   If I so much as shifted my elbow, he was up with a start, looked at me and shouted with glee, ready to play with the Mama.   At least he was happy, right?   But I had a little routine for awhile: at 10AM, I would sit and nurse him and watch ER, which had back-to-back episodes at 10 and 11 in syndication.   I would usually make it through both.    Occasionally at 1 I would sit in the same spot and turn on the Food Network, and we’d get through Everyday Italian and part of Paula’s Home Cooking.   (Ok, I didn’t do that every single day.    Just when I could get away with it!)   Then when he was awake we played, went on long walks, went to the park, the mall or out to lunch.   When it was time to fold laundry or clean I put him on the floor wherever I was working and he played happily for the brief time I was otherwise engaged.   We were the Two Musketeers.  

Fast forward to the present.   When Cooper doesn’t fall right to sleep on his naptime, he cries.   And cries, and cries.   I try to juggle playing something meaningful with Kenny and getting through bits and pieces of the housework.   Then if more than 30 minutes has gone by, I go get him up and juggle a whole different set of tasks, namely trying to play  something meaningful with both of them simultaneously.   I usually end up failing on both sides of that one, and end up just playing referee.  

Oh my goodness, I haven’t even mentioned that Cooper has started to pull himself up!   And he’s tall!   He can reach anything on a coffee table or end table.   Today while I was putting the dinner dishes into the dishwasher, in partial sight of him and Kenny playing in the living room, I heard Kenny start to cackle.   “Cooper took his shirt off!   Oooooops…”   I stepped in to see Cooper underneath the Nok Hockey table – a very (thank God!) lightweight plywood contraption that sits on top of the coffee table in our living room.   Apparently Cooper was standing up, holding onto the edge of the hockey game for balance as Kenny, for some inexplicable reason, decided to take off his shirt.     Cooper must have lost his balance mid-strip and pulled the table on top of himself as he fell down.   He was not even crying, but rather laughing and trying to roll himself out from under it.   I was the only one having a heart attack, thank you very much.

One more reason not to do the dishes…

march-2009-094.jpg

Note: It has come to my attention that many of you are having difficulty commenting on recent posts due to a server error!    Feel free to email me via the “contact” section with your thoughts, and I will post them for you if you wish!   Thanks!

The Root of the Problem

I mentioned that Monday Kenny had a cavity filled.   He was awesome – a total cool cucumber.   But the dentist warned that his little molar in question was slightly deformed and that as a result, the cavity had already hit the nerve.   She told us to watch for “extreme pain” or “persistent pain.”  

Everyday this week, Kenny has been complaining about his tooth hurting.   But it didn’t seem to warrant a panic from me until Friday morning he put his sweet hand on my arm and said, “Mama?   My tooth really really hurts.   I think I need to go back to the dentist.”   I explained to him that “going back to the dentist” did not mean our super-cool family dentist, but instead meant a specialty pediatric dentist to explore needing a root canal.   He hesitated, and then said, “Ok.   It’s ok if they have to pinch me again.” (the “pinch” referring to the novacaine shot)   I took that as serious and made the call.

Or calls, as it turned out to be.   The pediatric dentist we were referred to did not take our insurance, so after a whirlwind of automated menu hell, I got several names to call.   In the meantime, it was pouring rain and Cooper woke up shrieking from his morning nap just as I secured a 2PM appointment for Kenny.   I called a repairman who was to arrive at that time to reschedule and we settled in to make cookies to take to a Maryland/Navy lacrosse tailgate we were attending later in the afternoon.   Time: 10:40AM.  

Phone rings: Casey saying that he wanted to go with the original pediatric dentist, and, how ’bout them apples? there’s an 11:30 appointment available.  

Imagine me looking at the mess of cookie-making paraphernalia – flour and egg shells on the counter, oven on and the dough nearly (but not quite) finished.   Cooper and Kenny still in pjs.   Rain coming down in sheets outside.   And a dentist that was 25 minutes away.  

“Everybody MOOOOVE!” I shouted and scrambled to turn off the oven and sweep the half-made cookie dough into the fridge.   I packed Cooper under one arm and steered Kenny with another as we bee-lined for the laundry room to find clothes.   Cooper, who does not like to get dressed under the best of circumstances, protests loudly as I yank a clean shirt over his head and sniff his diaper.   Not too bad.   On to Kenny.   Jeans, shirt, thank goodness for crocs, and he’s ready too.   I look at myself.   Sweats and jeans, no make-up, unbrushed hair.   Oh well.   I find baseball hats for everyone, as the car in the driveway  is 100 feet from our front door and the rain is pounding and I have no idea if we even own an unbrella anymore.   “Run, Kenny – but be careful not to slip!” I say and we race uphill to the car, Cooper laughing hysterically as the rain soaks his face and the oversized cap bounces on his head.   We strap in the car, and turn it on.   11:00.   Not bad!

We arrive two towns over just as the sun breaks through and slip breathless into the waiting room.   The whole car ride I’d been reassuring Kenny that this was just a “check” and that we would make an appointment for the procedure for later.  First stop, xray.   Not so good.   The hygienist gags Kenny, who vomits all over her.   He bursts into embarrassed tears.   I hug him with one arm, as the other keeps Cooper aloft.   We venture into the exam room and the dentist give him the once over.  

Fortunately, baby teeth don’t really get root canals, but rather something called a “pulpectomy” or something like that.   The dentist says that it’s necessary and advises that we proceed.   He starts to order laughing gas for Kenny, but I protest, saying that he went through the cavity filling without a hitch, and the fact that he has a TV screen in the ceiling playing cartoons is more than enough drug for Kenny.   He resists, I insist.   Kenny stays glued to the TV, and I attempt to nurse Cooper while standing next to Kenny, holding his hand.  

Can I take a moment to mention that Moms are Wonderwomen???

Ten minutes later the procedure is done and Kenny is handed several “prizes” for being a good boy – stickers, pencils and a mini airplane.   Kenny’s eyes fill with tears.   “The movie isn’t over!” he sniffs.   I promise a milkshake and he shrugs his shoulders, then starts talking funny on purpose to make Cooper laugh.

What a kid!

march-2009-071.jpg

We did get home, via McDonald’s drive-thru and I sat an exhausted and sore Kenny in front of a Veggie Tales while Cooper and I snuck lunch in the kitchen and finished the cookies.   Two hours later, Kenny was chasing his friends all over the field, dentist forgotten, as we played at the tailgate.   I plopped Cooper into the pack-n-play we brought with a friend’s baby and downed a glass of wine (or two).   Mission accomplished.

Clicks

march-2009-026.jpg

I have been sitting at the computer for over an hour now, and I have managed to download a hundred pictures, make a shutterfly book for my grandma’s birthday and add some shots to my facebook page.   Now, with my face sliding off my skull in fatigue, I wonder if just posting a bunch of pictures from the weekend counts as doing a blog post.

Pictures are a tricky thing on blogs.   I know that the relatives love them, but I wonder if anyone else does.   I mean, technically a “mommyblog” is at once an online babybook, a journal, an advice column and free psychotherapy, right?   So uploading a bunch of pictures certainly fills the babybook genre.   But then I think about the blogs I read and I think that the posts I enjoy the most are the ones about something.   Honestly, I  sometimes skim over other people’s  pictures.   So there: I solved my own dilemma.   I should actually venture to write something worthwhile and save the excessive pictures for the grannies.

Then we get to the “something worthwhile” quandary.   When the clock ticks closer and closer to the midnight hour, it is very tempting to fall into a litany of “what we did today.”   This can be either entertaining, or just plain drivel, I think.   Then I wonder if I am entertaining.   Obviously, I need to stop this internal conversation and write a post, for goodness sakes!

But then, what  is left of  a mommy’s brain at the end of the day??   On the floor with the scattered Cheerios?   In the pile of mismatched socks by the dryer?   Already asleep?

Shoot,   I may be better off posting pictures.   Is it Wordless Wednesday, yet?  

march-2009-022.jpg

Take two.

No, really.   We’ve had a whirlwind few days.   Friday night Casey and I celebrated our anniversary.   My sister and her family came to spend the night and babysit for us.   (Yay!   Thank you Kimmie!!)    Saturday morning we had piles of pancakes and bacon and Kenny was in heaven playing with his cousins.   After they left, we were unable to cope with the rainy day outside and drove into the city to the local children’s museum.   Along with every other family in a fifty mile radius!   It was a madhouse and we barely lasted two hours.   But the boys had a blast:

march-2009-055.jpg

march-2009-058.jpg

march-2009-060.jpg

We returned home exhausted and settled in for a family movie night with Horton Hears a Who!   Great movie.   Kenny was a little lost at times because he has the book memorized and kept up a constant critique, pointing out all the moments that were not in the book and asking about parts of the book that were left out.  

Monday Kenny and I dropped Cooper off with a friend and went to the dentist to  have matching teeth fixed: a cavity for him and a cracked tooth for me.   We borrowed a portable DVD player and he watched a movie through the procedure.   It couldn’t have gone better.   Until we got home and his tongue stayed too numb to eat, but the novacaine around his tooth wore off and the pain began.   He was mid-sentence when he dropped to his knees and burst into tears.   I ran over to him and he sobbed, “My tooth hurts!!!”   I started crying with him, because darn-it if mine wasn’t throbbing, too, and then Cooper joined in the game, wailing alongside us in commiseration.

march-2009-074.jpg

Today was non-stop.   We left the house at 8 and didn’t get home until 5.   We packed in Cooper’s nine-month check-up (he is just shy of 22 pounds!), watching  a friend’s baby for a few hours, Kenny’s gymnastic’s class, lunch at McDonald’s, then finished up at another friend’s house to coach their high school son for his upcoming forensics competition.   By the time we got home we were all so tired that we popped at pizza in the oven and Kenny said, “I don’t need a bath tonight.   I really want to go to bed.”   Amen, son.

The Big Five

These are the times…

… that try a Mama’s soul.  

Kenny.   Oh boy.   I love him and  yet  he is beginning a new era in driving me insane.   It seems that no matter how much time I spend with him – completely one on one, or in conjunction with Cooper (with Kenny of course being the center of attention and sweet Cooper just happy to be there), he demands more.   More as in, “Mama?   Why don’t you want to play with me??” with giant crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks.   (This after telling him to entertain himself for half a second while I’m trying to get Cooper down for a nap so I can play with him, darnit.)

Cooper is taking two consistent naps and I’ve been trying to use the morning one to get myself showered and then “do things” like laundry or cleaning, having  Kenny help me, then we play with whatever time is over.   This he actually enjoys.   He loves the feather duster.   The afternoon one I divide in two parts -the first half hour I make Kenny have him “quiet time” in my room so I can have  thirty minutes to decompress (read: eat cookie dough out of  the freezer and read emails)  and the rest I play with Kenny.   We read, do puzzles, bake cookies, even go out and swing on his swing-set with the monitor wedged in the window.   Then when Cooper’s awake, we mostly play what Kenny wants and try to include Cooper as much as possible, though often it seems that The Coop is stuck chewing on a block and watching the Leader of  the Pack.

Then there’s “The Gooch.”   That’s what Kenny shrieks as his digs his fingers into unsuspecting Cooper’s armpit.

A  week  ago Jess  wrote in mentioning that her two and a half year old was starting to rough-house with her baby to get attention.   She asked for some advice.    (Sorry for not responding before now, Jess!    And check out her blog – she’s got a killer play list to listen to while you write…   Anyone who’s got the Oakridge Boys and Annie  Lennox back to back is a friend of mine.)   I thought about  what to offer, but I’m stuck myself on this one.   Kenny is getting rougher and rougher with Cooper.   He’ll start to tickle him and intentionally know him over.   Today I left the two of   them in the living room for 18 seconds so that I could tinkle and came back to find then both off the rug and on the hard wood floor, Kenny pulling Cooper by the shirt sleeve and giving him a “ride” as he spun him around in circles.   Cooper loved it, yeah, but Hello!   Danger!   Stop it!

We’ve talked about being gentle, and I’ve even showed Kenny how it feels when someone twice your size tackles you.   He got the idea, but oh how quickly he forgets.   But it’s the attention hording that has me up in arms.   It puts me in such a bad mood I want to send Kenny to  someone else’s house  for the day.   The more I give him the more he demands.   And I’m sorry, I just can’t keep completely ignoring Cooper’s need for stimulation.   I need to be reading him little books and playing games with him without Kenny barging in and taking over every single playtime situation.   We’ve tried setting a timer (Cooper time for 15 minutes, Kenny time for 15) but that goes about as well as nothing.   I’m aching for the time with Coop that I had with Kenny at this age.

What can  I do?

Running Backwards

Some days I feel like I’m running ahead of the game: up early, laundry in, coffee made, run with Dudley, shower, matching clothes on body, reading to kids, making cookies, catching up on my own reading, actually stringing together an entire sentence to speak.   Other days, I’m running in place: kids fed and dressed and nobody cries (too much).  

Then there are the days when I feel like I’m running backwards.   The days of, “I never did get to that, did I?”   Days when you have to run the wash machine three times on the same load because you keep forgetting there are clothes in there and by the time you open the door, they smell icky.   Days when you remember at breakfast that you forgot to buy milk, forgot to buy diapers and forgot to feed the dog… or buy dog food.   Days when someone asks you gently, “Hey – have you read that book I gave you yet? I wanted to loan it to someone else…”   Days when there’s  that volunteer project coming up that everyone is jumping on, and you know that you have to commit to do something, most specifically because people are counting on you,  but all you want to do is pretend you never saw the email.   Days when you go to bed and start wondering, did I ever even hug my husband today?   Or pet the dog?   Or   brush my teeth??

I know that these days of being home all day with tiny kids is fleeting, but sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to get my act back together…

Cry Baby

Cooper does not whimper.   He doesn’t sniffle.   When he’s sad, mad, hungry, hurt or bored, he WAILS.   As I write, he is screeching in his bed.   I put him down nearly an hour ago to sleep, and he is awake, for whatever reason.   Last night he did this from 7PM until nearly midnight.   He has gone through these phases a few times before,   but mostly when he was sick, so I’m not sure how legit this round is, as he seems healthy!   But this has been going on for a week now, and I have got to get it to stop.

I get so frustrated.   You figure that a Mommy Work Day is typically from about 6AM until about 7 or 8, right?    And there are  no breaks, unless all involved nap for some length of time at the exact same time.   So we’re talking about a 13 to 14 hour work day, right?   And once I put these rascals in bed, I expect them to stay there!   I need them to!   I have an endless list of things to do, and sometimes, for goodness sakes, I just want to collapse on the couch and vegetate!  

The worst of it is that Kenny and Cooper share a room, and though Kenny “sleeps” through a lot of Cooper’s shenanigans, I know that it must affect the quality of his sleep, no matter how quickly I get in there to scoop  up Cooper.   Tonight Kenny is asleep in my bed for the time being, but that’s happening too frequently, too, and that’s not good sleep, either.   For some reason, when Kenny’s in the bed, Dudley seems to think that it’s a slumber party, and he wedges himself right on in there, head on my pillow and everything, right down to the paws gently caressing my shoulder.  

What to do?   Allow the wails to continue as my heart is ripped out with each ragged breath?   Or go up and re-rock/snuggle/cuddle/sing/nurse every time he wakes up  until he gives in and sleeps for the rest of the night??

Looks like I’m going up there again.   I just can’t take it.     Help!