Book Review: The Potty Training Answer Book

The Potty Training Answer Book: Practical Answers to the Top 200 Questions Parents Ask,by Karen Deerwester, Pubished by SourceBooks, Inc.

When I was approached with the request to review a new book on potty training, I jumped at the chance… after all, as a mom in the throes of the elusive dry-bottomed-kid, I figured that I could use all the help I could get.   And to date, the only advice on potty training that has actually sounded like it might really work comes from John Rosemond’s book Parenting Power.   In his chapter on potty training, he advises only one technique: “Naked and $75.”   This entails picking a day and letting your precious wiggler run around sans clothing until he realizes that he really hates the sensation of pee pee running down his legs and decides to use the potty instead.   The 75 bucks is for professional carpet cleaning.

Now I was all set to put that one into action, but Kenny has been using the potty at least once (or twice) a day since May.     So he knows what to do and how to do it, the trick has just been my own consistency coupled with his resistance in stopping play in order to do his business.  

Here’s where The Potty Training Answer Bookcame in for us.   The book struck an immediate chord with my own lack of discipline.   But I am getting ahead of myself, and after all, this is not about me; this is a review, for goodness sakes.

Though I read the entire book in one sitting, my only complaint with this publication is its somewhat stilted style.   While it is purposely  presented as  a series of sessions  in  question and answer format, I found that when the the author actually set aside paragraphs outside that format to discuss specific issues or personality traits of children, I was thrown off and had to go back to see whether or not she was answering a question.

That being said, author Karen Deerwester, who, among other accomplishments, is the parent expert for www.bluesuitmom.com, really tackles the meat of the whole potty-training process: That  potty training is one of the foundations of the intimate relationship between a parent and a child.   It’s about building trust, confidence and security, and it requires consistency, patience and lots and lots of humor!

Deerwester suggests that each parent make a study of their child’s personality, and with their unique characteristics in mind, come up with a “personal potty plan” for that child.   Some kids will conquer the whole thing in a weekend, and some will take it slow and steady over a long term process.   Lest this be dismissed as double-speak for child-centered parenting (which I am much opposed to), let me state that Deerwester makes it clear that the parent is in charge of the whole process.   It is merely by taking your own child’s learning strengths into consideration that you can best decide how to make the process as smooth as possible.   She also points out the importance of making sure that every person in the family (including grandparents or others who may babysit or take care of the child) be on the same team.   That is, agree to the strategy and stick to it.

All in all, The Potty Training Answer Book is full of sound advice and I considered it very useful in charting my own plan of attack.   Kenny thinks it’s working, too!